the birthday present from Rhonda Byrne

it was a typical monday.

i am not yet in the habit of gratitude journalling on the weekends because the w/ends just tend to get away from me. i blame the children. oh i'm kidding - i full well realize that i am still attracting the 'time is running out!!!!' experience into my weekends. and i will stop doing that.
i will
i will
i will
next weekend, as the universe is my witness i will make it last an eternity! or at least not make it slip away. a nice lovely long weekend is on my horizons. you read it here first. i'll let you know how that works out.

anyway, driving on towards my point. although i didn't do any gratitude or pray-rain journal at the weekend, i did do one today. at a reasonable breaking point at work, i whipped out my notepad and just wrote away. it only took a couple minutes to fill out the two sides of the paper, and it makes *such* a difference. once you go into that mindset, you get a bit chirpier, a bit of a bounce creeps into your walk, and the smile that had eluded your morning finally surfaces. oh i was smiling before that, but it was the smile that everyone knows is fake. the 'really! i'm serious, i'm really really pretty almost good!'

but having taken a couple minutes to really feel the feelings of where i wanted my vibration to be really changed the rest of the day.

i also thought of how i am already wealthy. that goes a long way to feeling your own abundance. what have i got that i used to really want? i now have the house i wanted for three years, the car i wanted for two years, a job i enjoy, the books i wanted, the computer i wanted.

and something smacked me in the face today that i had hoped for years ago. there is a 'techie' journal that i read occasionally, but the articles used to be way over my head. long ago, i had the intention that in five years, i would be able to pick this journal up and understand every bit of it. that day was today. i couldn't believe it. i read every article in that mag, and it was clear as a bell. a m a z i n g. it was so amazing it made me giddy to think what's ahead of me, now that i'm consciously applying LOA.

to be clear : i am not a geek. just wanted to point that out before continuing. i just understand that magazine.

but THE most amazing thing to happen today was weigh-in. oh yes, monday is weigh-in day, and holly was just attracting maintenance all day long. actually, in my really good-feeling-moments, i was thinking it would be great to have lost a pound, and felt what that was like, but i was really just letting go of the need to have lost any weight this week.

WHY? well, let's see
a birthday concert.
a birthday four-glasses-of-amaretto
a birthday cup of ice cream
and those were the day BEFORE the birthday!
on the day, i had my favorite almond-marzipan chocolate bar and a terry's mint chocolate orange.

then, on saturday, we had a movie with obligatory sweets, dinner at a place where the menu serves half- and quarter- chickens. (i mean c'mon! work with me here! i need to make it home in one pair of jeans!) then i had my favorite thing i have every year on my birthday. ice cream mushed into a cake slice. yuuuuuuuuuuuum.

did i mention i'd had starbucks on friday?

i also went running on wednesday.

but clearly, it was not a dieting-type week. but my mantra all week was what Rhonda said on The Secret cds. "i eat whatever i want and maintain my perfect weight." that was the best gift she has given me on that series. it's all gold, but this has been fantastic - virtually instant manifestation of what i want!

so that was my mantra all week and it bloody worked!!!! i lost a pound and a half this week! woo hoo!!!!!!

now before i get told by some readers that i can't really just go eat anything i want and yet magically lose weight, i have two things to say:

a) when you can eat anything you want to eat, you want to eat the right things more often than not. and when you're happy most of the time like LOA encourages, you don't need 'comfort food' like maybe you used to. but more importantly,

b) i think i just proved i can, actually :)

all the same, i got a whole pile of veggies in today. d'em's good eatin'!

how do you spell relief

i listened to "The Astonishing Power of Emotions" cd again today. i felt it sink deeper into my brain, and carried the message further into the day. i really felt relaxed mostly. one of the main messages of the cd is

let go

i have been trying all month to focus on abundance, particularly in the face of a certain bill that i'm not going to draw more energy to, and a certain balance that i won't draw more energy to. yesterday i was trying to interpret the data differently.

but that was the problem.

i was trying. as the cd says, trying is upstream.

today, i let go, and felt the relief of not paddling.

for starters, the relief feels really good. really really good.

but also, with the relief comes more amazing things. like things at work that make sense all of a sudden.

AND

second opinions from different weight watcher people. no, crazy monday night person, i did not run in a 10k and then put on 2.5 pounds. it just did not happen that way. this was verified by lovely tuesday night person. woo hoo!

AND

fairly large amounts of money coming into my experience. we got a very large cheque today (THANK YOU! WOO HOO!), which wipes out the need for me to try any interpreting or visualizing or anything. only relaxed visualizations from now on! i'm not even going to try! i'm just going to relax into my happiness.

i also got a little birthday money (MORE THANKS AND MORE WOO HOO!!!) today.

it's TRUE ms. langmeier, money comes easily and frequently!

and all i had to do was let go!

i also had a realization tonight. i walked up to the shop around the corner. with the kiddos. it was raining a bit, and we didn't care. i didn't make a big issue out of them going to catch colds. i never really believed that getting wet would make you catch a cold, otherwise bath days would be tricky, and swimming wouldn't be as fun. what was fun was walking there in the rain with my kiddies. whenever m2 would stomp a puddle, i'd say "stop that!" in a mock voice that would make them both giggle. it was the most fun a walk to the shop could be. the realization is that instead of wishing my life away to finding myself at the gates of abundance, i should be enjoying the absolute h£ll out of these moments. THEY feel really good. they are why i had children, what i wanted out of life. well half : truth be told i wanted to be rich and have kids. halfway there!

i am halfway there.

OHHHH yes, there should be a funny bit. my posts have been not-as-funny recently, and although the point *isn't* to be funny, i just like it better when we're all entertained. SO, how about a combination of amazing and funny?

i meant to call mom (hi mom) because i am bored bored BORED of her not getting my emails, so i set a web-based one up for her. dialled the number. strangely, my husband answers. husband! what are you doing at my mother's house?! oh, wait, that was *my* number. hi husband!

"sorry, i dialled the wrong number."

"no, you didn't."

"okay, i didn't. hi! how are you?"

"fine. do you want the good news or the bad news?"

okay, my reaction to this is key. LOA responds to your vibrational response to things. so i think "well, i can calm myself to prepare, and receive the bad news and get it out of the way. but wait. i'm the kind of person that likes good news first now. let's go for that. but wait. if i get the good news first, then i only have bad news left. but wait. the bad news won't matter because i'm going to respond appropriately. oh criminently, just get the news!"

"give me the good news."

"i'm going to give you the bad news first."

okay. then the amazing. i prepare to NOT react to whatever it is he is going to say. it just will be what it will be.

"i bought a lottery ticket today and did not win."

"that's the bad news?"

"yes. the good news is we got a large cheque in the post."

how utterly fantastic is that. my husband, who has been starring in my gratitude journal (thanks v!), has given me fantastic bad news and fantastic good news. i had thought that maybe i should tell him exactly what constitutes bad news, but then i realized he gave me a completely wonderful gift. he gave me perspective. the next time ANYONE says they have bad news for me, i'm going to picture my husband with a losing lottery ticket. that is fantastic. because it is not bad at all. it's fantastically moot. that's how i'd like all my bad news to be in future - inane. YAY for mediocrity! woo hoo for insignificance! i love you!

i LOVE letting go!