dropping the oars

today had some amazing moments.

to start off with, driving to work, i popped *out* 'The Secret' cd. and i popped *in* 'The
Astonishing Power of Emotions'. i like to mix it up a bit, so that i don't become complacent and
get sloppy by not really listening to something that i just hear over and
over.

the story of jerry and esther putting their boat in the river really
resonated with me today. they went white-water rafting in colorado, and compared it to law of attraction. you can work your butt off paddling upstream, or you can just feel good and let the current take you to where you want to go.
it occurred to me that i'm trying all this stuff WAY too hard. i'm wanting all the abundance and all the home stuff to change now. i'm paddling upstream! i decided that i'm going to just let go. i'm going to just feel good and that's that. sure, i want stuff. i will still launch, as abraham says, the 'little rockets of desire'. but i'm going to try to stop paddling. in fact, trying is paddling, so i'm not going to try. i'm just going to stop paddling. she says.

well, today at work, it was almost like magic. there was a program i was working on, and all my paddling wasn't making the dang thing work properly. i had even lost some code i was working on, when i was trying to synchronize my files with the group's files. and i was getting close to being annoyed, which really wasn't going to make it work properly. so i stopped. i did something that made me feel good. and i just sat there feeling good for awhile. i think i went to a few funny websites, and i think i imagined some things i wanted.

i went back to the code. that code i lost? it was there.
as
if
by
magic!

the other thing that happened today that was really weird was that there was this animation that a co-worker showed us. it's of a spinning dancer. if you saw it as spinning clockwise, you're right brained, apparently. if you saw it as anti-clockwise, you're left brained. of course, genius was assigned to those who saw both.

well the boys all saw the counter-clockwise one. and a couple of them flipped back and forth. i saw only clockwise. not wanting to be the only non-genius on the software team, i jokingly said 'you are just teasing me, you don't see it counter-clockwise at all!' they all giggled.

i sat at my desk, and just smiled at the animation.
oh
my
goodness:
i SAW it counter-clockwise!! i couldn't believe it. it was so weird! if you've ever had a moment where you were totally disoriented, it was very similar to that. i am starting to have more and more of those perspective-shifts, and i am loving them.

and maybe,

just maybe,

i am a genius too!

then i got to lunch. and it struck me. i saw what i *wanted* to see. which way was the truth? they both were. it's a 2d image series, and our brains interpret it whatever way we want to. that means i can interpret things the way i want to. up to recently, i have been interpreting my life a certain way. and while that was okay, i'm now starting to interpret life in a new way, and things are moving towards my new perspective. this idea from 'The Secret' cds that you must 'feel the feeling of having it now' is possible if you realize that you can interpret life the way you want to.

financially, this is not the best month we've had so far. i have been struggling to see myself as abundant this month. however, let's compare it to when i was first out of college. is the amount we have right now comparatively abundant? heck yeah! good lord i've got a ton of money! i thought about this on the way home. and when i *got* home, i had a pound in my pocket that i am unable to explain. i had no pound earlier today. i got money out of the cash machine, but never broke the paper. so by all rights, i should have no change. yet, there it was. i got a pound! i'm rich! yay!

money is flowing to me quickly and easily; and
i am a genius.

that's a good day.

and yes, one of these days i will get this post done early enough that i can do proper links in the message. my bad.