once you start down the path. . .

part of who i was came out today:

i have a friend who lives around the corner. the friendship was orchestrated through daughters in the same class. they are 8. 8 year olds have issues. i dearly love this friend, but am challenged by the divergent parenting philosophies we have. granted, mine are evolving, because of LOA, but still, they are heading in a new direction. don't get me wrong, i still want the bloody room tidied, and i still want the bedtime adhered to. however, i'm not hung up on them like i used to be. and i am slowly - this is the real challenge - changing my thoughts on my daughter's friend.

this friend is very influential, and sometimes it has a negative effect on the other girls in the class. my friend's daughter very often suffers the brunt of this influence. additionally, i see my sweet lovely jewel of a daughter changing in ways i'm not sure i adore. so i have an intention. the only way i can achieve a holistic joyful life is to:
a) see this other girl - whose mother is also my friend - as someone who is good and wonderful; and
b) (ultimately) let my daughter attract her friendship experiences how she will.

this means i need to forget that this girl tried to sneak my game system out of our house. it is highly possible that i completely misinterpreted that situation. it is also possible that pigs can fly.

i need to, as they say on The Secret cds, praise and bless this gal when i see her, instead of suspiciously wondering what it is that she is whispering to my daughter about.

yes, it can be done. i am the little mother that could. i think i can i think i can.

i need to hug my daughter more. one day this other girl might just push her luck too far with my daughter, and my lovely girl will need someone to turn to. i'll be that one.

but the bit that i was referring to before, the person i used to be, took my friend to starbucks today
to talk about the situation
because she is upset about the most recent events. oh if michael losier knew i had done that, i might get a slap on the wrist. no no no no no, holly!

i want to take my friend and say "let go! you have to let go! there isn't anything you can do about this!" but *i* have to let go of wanting to do that. oy! so many things to let go of!

now for my efforts, i got a severe headache. i told husband and friend that it was due to not eating properly today. i know, i really know, that it was because i have been really trying to LIVE LOA properly, and today was *not* a L-O-A day at all. well, for a few hours it wasn't.

actually on the whole, it was a good day. they all are these days. i came across a resource i need for my writing (yes, ma, got that magazine we talked about). got some long-time-a-comin' attention from my husband. had a fantastic evening with friends. it's all very very good.

but as i was ridding myself of the headache, all i could think was "okay, okay, okay, i won't do that again."

now, the challenge. we are extremely good friends. i now must come up with a way to not talk about it, but yet not seem callous when the subject comes up. hmmm... any answers, universe?

but a big thank you to the universe - it tapped me on the shoulder when i was contemplating revealing information to my friend that would only have been hurtful.

but really, motherhood in and of itself makes trying LOA look like a piece of cake! if i can get this kid to adulthood - NO : WHEN i get this kid AND her brother to adulthood - with my sanity still in tact, i can do ANYthing. :)

at times like this, i reflect on a phrase on the abraham-hicks site : all is well, it really is!

i really feel that now that i have tried so earnestly to transform my life to one that is in tune with the LOA philosophy, anything that isn't in harmony with these ideas really hits me hard. it hit me today : there is NO going back. this is my life now. i love it, and the things that i have to leave behind are things i don't really want anyway.

[and then, just before she hit the submit button, she got her answer.]

yes, tomorrow, i will gratitude journal & pray rain journal my butt off!