church, chess and cheese

i've told myself aldl week that i was going to wake up at 7:15, have good thoughts until i burst out of bed, then have a good old-fashioned kick-a** day, just like granny used to have. surely someone's granny used to do that.

well, i must have forgotten to tell myself i had the morning off. 7:15, and my eyes went 'boing!' and my thoughts went "oh i love this and i love that and i love this and i love that" until about 15 minutes later when my son woke up. it being my morning to get up with him, off i went, albeit in a very good mood. ordinarily, i'd tell myself now that i don't need to have the 7:15 wake-up call again tomorrow, as normally sunday is glorious sleep-in-day. well, we want my daughter to go to a particular school. this school is associated with the cathedral in our area. attendance is not mandatory, but it pretty much opens the door for entry to the school. so tomorrow, my hind end is on a pew. funny that your hind end can either emit or sit on a pew. (sorry, had to do that.)

i remember dreading this experience at the beginning of the summer. i was determined to have a good, quality summer filled with an abundance of sleeping in on sundays. come fall, i was going to have to give that up. well, now that i have totally shifted my perspective, i really think 'wow. what better place to sit and just feel good than a place where everyone's thinking good thoughts?' it will be interesting to attend the service, now that i have a different meaning for the vocabulary normally found in church.

but i started out as a person who was dragged to church as a child - that organization mentioned in my first post with the plates and the wives and the "oh my god you drank caffeine?! you will not be saved!" then i was deliriously happy that i didn't have to go there anymore - well mom was 5 hours away. she wasn't going to drive down to the residence halls and make me go........was she? now, i get it. "oh you mean god. yeah, god gives good parking spaces. and i don't think he cares too much that i call him 'hey u'."

and i should stop saying 'so if nothing else comes out of this', because so much already has, but if nothing else comes out of this at least i'm very happy to go to church for my daughter's educational enhancement, an act i used to refer to as taking one for the team. oh i'm not going to tell my husband that i like going. then he'll renege on the deal to take us to starbucks after. and that's not god's will..... ;)

now to add something so that my only reader (hi mom!) has something to read that i didn't actually say to her on the phone earlier.

as recently as last month i described my husband as 'just that grumpy guy who shouts at my kids'. well the grumpiness has diminished, through no small amount of me repeating "'my husband likes to be in good moods" (note the phrasing i can believe). tonight my daughter and i bought a chess set; she's been wanting to learn, and on some level somewhere i knew he'd enjoy teaching her. tonight i momentarily thought "oh he'll be annoyed and say he doesn't have time." i countered that with "b likes to play chess and will enjoy teaching m to play." we got home, and after a certain 2 year old was toddled into a crib, the 8 year old got out the chess set. i didn't even finish the thought "oh you look busy" before just thinking "stop." i let it play out. he interrupted me in the middle of my dishwashing to tell me that the chess set was missing a piece. i went "oh?" and told them to box it up i still had the receipt for returning it tomorrow. when i got in the room, they were playing anyway. yay!!!!!!

yet another amazing thing today was that there i was, in primark (clothing store), along with everyone else in the known universe. the lines were breaking 'holly's law of queueing', which states that holly shall not queue. i don't believe it is in my divine interest to queue. well, if i'd have adhered to 'holly's law of queueing', i'd have broken 'holly's law of not giving up some really cool stuff she wants for some silly queueing law'. you see the dilemma. but armed with the law of attraction i merely asked for the queue to move along quickly.
ho
ly
crap
within a minute, there was a staff member asking the person in front of me if they were in the queue. 'no' came the response. where were the people in front of her?
they
had
disappeared!
my heart skipped 1.5 beats!!! i mean not ALL of the people were gone. but an entire leg of the queue (went from 3 zigzags to 2!) was gone. and what remained of the queue moved really quickly.

i am SO LOVING THIS STUFF!!!! now i know people are going to read this and say "this is just beyond belief. she can't possibly be experiencing all this." i welcome such a person to follow me around for a day. well, actually, no, i don't truly welcome someone with negative thoughts to be so close to me for an extended period of time. but they could watch me from a distance. that would be okay.

okay. must sleep now. church is early.

there was no cheese. i just like that it phonetically tripled up with church and chess nicely. if you were truly wanting something about cheese, particularly with respect to church and chess, i'll see what i can do.

the most magnificent day so far

today i have just really felt joy all day. nothing could affect me or otherwise knock me off that high i was on. not EVEN the fact that every night someone comes in and yanks the mattress cover such that it comes loose from the corners. no, i wasn't letting that tip me off my mark. and i know something great is heading my way. i can't wait to see what it is.

so there i am in the superstore and it occurs to me that i need kitchen scales. the old ones broke. apparently, they don't like being accidentally knocked on the floor. who knew? anyway, so i says to the universe, "hey u," (we're on monosyllabic basis now) then i had to say "not you," to the clerk who turned when i called out. anyway, i continued, "i'd love some kitchen scales!" i slowly saunter up the aisle that it really should be on. NOTE: this store has NOT had them the last two times i checked. thoroughly. i go to the measuring jugs, which really are a close cousin to kitchen scales, and think "okay, where are the scales." my eyes pop as i see a set of kitchen scales right above the measuring jug; remember THEY WERE NOT THERE BEFORE. i say a quiet "holy crap! i mean THANK YOU UNIVERSE!" but i'm looking and i think 'well that set isn't really going to hold the things i need to weigh, i really want one similar to the one i had, and slightly cheaper'.
and
then
my
jaw
drops
as i look at the shelves - YES, TWO SHELVES - of kitchen scales. the absolute perfect kitchen scales were on the top shelf. i just stood there gaping in awe like some moron. i'm sure at least one person walked by wondering what was wrong, while another said, (like many of you are probably thinking) "they're just scales." but oh my inexplicable higher power! does it get more magical than that? WOW!!!

this makes the broccoli i asked for in the canteen pale in comparison. and to think, this post going to be about how i wanted something exciting to happen yesterday and got an email from borders (i'm not on their email list...) announcing the grand opening of the borders/starbucks i've been waiting for - today. i've always wanted to go to opening day of a shop i like, and how perfect that it was my favorite shop?! what a very lovely evening it was.

but, and this point i didn't really make at all through this, i felt so beyond-words fantastic all day that a couple times i had to check to make sure my feet were still touching the floor. they still are.....for now....

another series of incidents

although i really like listening to the attracting money section of the secret audio cds, my favorite cd has actually become the fourth cd, which goes more into more spiritual themes. on days that i listen to this cd, i have days like this:

1) i had to go to the post office. my experience of post offices in britain is that they are packed with seniors who don't realize they're using up valuable business-person's post office time and want to know what the best way to send this little ball of fluff to little jimmy. also, they're not at all easy to park at. NO MORE! i asked and visualized all the way over to the post office that there would be immediate service, and i'd get a parking spot easy. DONE AND DONE! woo hoo! okay, it was helped by the fact that i was going to cash a cheque i'd received (i think my last post talked about that), STILL an answer is an answer! i also had to pay some money on my post office credit card. i felt REALLY good as i was doing it, realizing how little the balance was, and how much i could afford to pay on it.

2) i needed post-errand food. having gone to the post office at lunch, there would have been very little chance of me having a baked potato when i got back from the errand. NO WAY! i asked and visualized for a baked potato to be waiting in the canteen upon my return, and maybe something else nice to go with it. i was really thankful for the baked potato. it's no surprise that my baked potato was there when i got back, i mean, hey, i visualized and was thankful! it WAS a surprise that they also had my favorite (well, favorite (and rarely served) from the canteen) dish being served, so i had one portion of that!

3) a parking spot - advanced. we went to the circus tonight. it's right next to a small parking lot, and when there is an event on, the parking spots disappear like hilary clinton's credibility (sorry, i thought i needed some humour tossed in). NOPE!! tonight i asked, visualized and thanked! i couldn't visualize the exact space, so imagined that there were loads of spaces. . . . . . THERE WERE! woo hoo! thank you thank you thank you!

4) a love-build. whenever they talk about your inner being, and feeling the love from it, i take a moment that day (i know, i know i should do that EVERY day. okay okay okay i will i will i will!) to just feel love - and it just builds and builds. today i did that about half an hour before i was due to leave work. well i had to stop because i was just feeling love all over the place! thank GOD my boss didn't walk by! i'd be having a very different kind of meeting now. (note to self: love-builds are for HOME).

5) attracting stuff! i wanted a nice surprise waiting for me when i got home. well didn't my amazon order FINALLY arrive! i had forgotten i'd ordered it! and i don't feel like complaining about how long it took - it arrived perfectly!
5b) i got no cheque today. i got a mortgage statement. right there, printed in black and white, was just how much i HAVE! i had received a huge 110% mortgage. that's money i'm giving ME each month! i have RECEIVED! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
5c) i also got a statement of how much my 401k is worth. wooo doggie! can't retire yet, but hey, i have RECEIVED!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

just for example!!!

i LOVE cheques, and a conga line forms in my house

another cheque arrived today! okay, to be fair, i expected it. i mean, i actually did expect it - someone bought an ebay item. i thought that selling some of my unneeded items would be a great way to get some 'expecting money' practice. and it is, i think. i have to practice being more excited, maybe. or maybe it's enough that i expected this cheque and it came. bottom line : i got another cheque in the mail. YAY!!!!

there is another thing that i have noticed now that i am being so happy, and aiming to feel love and gratitude all the time. things that i wanted to see a while back are showing up. i saw a runner's item at the superstore last night that i have been wanting to see for a long time. it was right in front of my face, and it hadn't been there previously; i'd checked.

and, after doing some thought shifting last night, this thought struck me like a freight train today: in spite of the feelings i have been trying to reverse about getting a little low on money, we actually spent about £1k more than usual last month, and never actually ran out of money. THAT put things into perspective. i felt REAL abundant after that. money comes easily and frequently! money comes easily and frequently. money comes easily and frequently! there's no place like home. no no no i mean money comes easily and frequently!

oh yes - the conga line. okay, so after last night i thought i'd do a bit of segment-intending before getting in the house today. i intended that i would have a lovely evening with my wonderful children and husband. i thought that would be a good start. while i was cooking dinner, i had a great teresa bright album, self portrait, playing tonight. when keu, which has a really fun beat to it, played, i started just doing a conga-line-like dance. this produced giggles from the children. suddenly i felt the 2-year-old pushing on my back, thereby making it a partial conga line. the 8-year-old then joined in. we went all over the ground floor, having giggles and fun. we played the thing 3 times before i thought 'okay, that's enough of that, i'll sit and catch my breath now.' but it was the most fun we've had in quite some time. and definitely the first conga line in my lovely new house.

i am now on day two of the first of the master key system exercises. i noticed as i did the exercise last night that it felt like my brain was lighting up. i'm sure that's going some where, but for now it is just really cool.

today, bras, tomorrow, the world

now that i have mostly achieved my pre-pregnancy weight, there is a whole pile of lingerie waiting to be worn again. hey, when a woman finds a good bra, it's fantastic. there, i've said it.

but i could not remember for the life of me where i'd put them during 'the big move'. many would argue that my luggage would have been the most logical place. however, at the time of moving, i was already 5 months pregnant, and wanting the garments to retain their loveliness, so i obviously had done something clever with them, but that could have been nearly anything.

i have been thinking how much i'd love to have them again, really to the extent of not shopping for their replacements - i doubt i could find any as good as these (they really are lovely - they're satin!).

fast forward to today. 'tis a cold day here in cardiff, and winter is 'a'comin'. so my husband asks me where the blankets are. i point to a cupboard. he gets out a blanket that i'd packed in a 'space bag' to keep out the hawaiian critters. i had no need for a blanket in hawaii, so the blanket, a keepsake from a very dear friend of mine, stayed in the bag for four years. it holds a very special place in my heart, so when he asked if he could give it to our daughter, i was about to say 'no, you're not giving that one to m*, i don't want juice spilled on it.' however, i hesitated a moment, and felt like i should say yes. so i turned to him, and said 'yeah, okay.' so he unpacked the bag.

what was inSIDE the folded blanket?

wait for it. oh wait - you know! braaaaaas! yaaaaaayyyyy!

************************************************************************************

and now, a follow up on the parenting.
the other day i made the statement to the effect that children are a sort of test with this law of attraction stuff.
boy howdy!

"okay it's 45 minutes past your bedtime, sweetheart. tonight, i'd prefer it if you went to bed quickly. no nonsense. no wait, i'd prefer efficiency. "

"okay."

"sorry, honey, that's your cue to move your cute little hind end up the stairs."

"oh, right."

"i mean now." (holly, just be calm)

"okay." danders over to the stairs. my granny used to walk quicker.

i go do the dishes. 10 minutes later, i go upstairs, to see why there has been no teeth-brushing or bathroom-going. my lovely daughter is sitting on her bed, still dressed from the day, reading a book. (holly, just be calm)

"wow. i thought i was pretty clear earlier about how much i wanted you to be quick. you're not even started. i am not going to get angry here, but you gotta get a move on. why are you reading?"

"you said i could read in bed." (holly, just be calm)

"aaaaahhh. yes, the definition i was using for 'in bed' was that you had done all your bedtime stuff and were in fact done for the day. do it now. let's have some quickness, or tomorrow you're going to bed earlier." (note to self : you may actually have to have her go to bed earlier tomorrow for this to be an effective persuasion tool).

i work on getting the clean clothes folded. another 10 minutes passes. i go down to check up on her in the bathroom. she's sitting. (holly, just be calm)

"okay, what is it?"

"well, you've got to put stuff on my foot."

"yes, let's get that done. then you really really really have to get going to bed."

i leave the bazooka-verruca-stuff to dry on her foot. i tidy up the toys and return to see why she is taking so long to get back upstairs. she is hiding in the wc. my eyes are drawn to soap all over the tub. "how did this get here," i ask, calmly but curious. she gives me a "i dunno" shoulder shrug, which means she knows. then she turns her head so i can see that she has put shampoo on a bit of her hair. (holly, just be calm) (holly, just be calm) (holly, just be calm)

i just sit on the side of the tub. "i really really really really don't believe it."

it gets boring here, what with the lack of spanking and the just washing the shampoo out of her hair, but i *think* i deserve a medal for not getting angry! pre-secret-holly would have shouted from the point of the reading in bed. i came all the way through that without shouting once! okay, i gratuitously used the word 'really', but i don't think any universe court will convict me on that. i feel tired, but tired - isn't that better than angry? i'd rather have tiredness than anger, i think.

************************************************************************************

i am only writing this next bit as a journal entry. i feel like i shouldn't give it too much more energy, but i would like to compare myself in the future to where i am now. the future me is going to be very different.

i am off-track in the magnetizing money area. i think i mentioned that there is a water bill coming this month. i am already working on my thoughts in this area because it is a 6-month bill (thank you, insane husband). i have told myself it's not necessary for us to not use any water from now until the bill comes. no 'if it's brown...' rules at the ireland household. i'm saying statements like "i have received 10 times the amount of the bill", and "the water bill will be reasonable, less than £xxx", and "i have more than enough money for that bill." i should say "i have more than enough money for that, bill" (the comma therefore transforming it from *a bill* to 'bill'. my friend bill, he would be really glad that i have more than enough money.)

but that is giving that bill energy, and i know it! i have to stop that. i am deliberately setting the intention tonight that the bill will be reasonable, then i'm going to forget about it.

additionally, we received word from the child credit agency. (explanation for any u.s. readers ...) in britain, you, in theory, receive a tax credit for each child you have. however, we seem to be constantly be paying back the agency's mistakes. i'd like to not have the dang thing at all. anyway, this word is that they have yet again made a mistake and we now owe them £200. i wasn't angry at hearing this, i didn't want to have any emotion with it. i did say out loud "no, they have made a mistake, and they will correct it." i said it to my husband, not in an angry way, just matter-of-factly that's-what-i-intend. he received it as my-crazy-wife-is-losing-the-plot.

the combination of these two items has REALLY thrown my vibrational alignment. i'm not connecting with source and not attracting anything. the last couple of days have been good, but not amazing, like last week. i want to go back to last week where everything was kick-a** amazing.

so now, i'm going to leave it to the universe to sort this out for me. i want to have money coming quickly and easily, and i'm going to ignore this. i know i can do this, i attracted a "we're not going to pursue this" from the traffic camera agency (oh that is a whole post in itself!).
so there. i've said it. i hereby am letting these things go, and i'm going to go feel good again. i'm going to feel good about spending money.

pardon me just a moment, i have to appreciate the fact that soon there will be no one playing hip hop music really loudly on our street.. . .
okay he's gone.

i even tried this exercise today. i picked up the paychecks for our department. as i was walking back to the department, i realized i was holding nearly a million pounds. that was pretty sparkly-cool! i pretended it was mine to give out. i was giving away most of a million pounds. THAT was awesome. surely what i give away must flow back.

to 'kick this up a notch' (always with the kicking of the notches...), i put up my vision board tonight. it is purple, and has as its first item a 'win a trip to disneyland' newspaper clipping on it. i have to send in tokens. i'm going to magnetize a trip to disneyland!

okay - now i have some sitting, feeling good to do. i think i'll do the re-play the day exercise to change that whole daughter-bedtime thing. i'm going to pretend the reason she couldn't get to bed quickly was that i was hugging her, and then she went straight to sleep. much nicer. and when *that* becomes my reality, someone should ready the heart-resuscitator.

on the abundance of dishes

a real sore point in my life up to about a month ago was the issue of dishes. i was really attracting a sinkful of dirty dishes every night. amazing, particularly with me not being in the house during the day, one child at school and the other child, well he has particularly small dishes. my husband had very succesfully attracted someone to do his dishes. that guy . . . and he says he doens't believe! if he only knew....

ANYWAY. i decided when i started seriously applying the principles of the law of attraction that i was going to have to get past this issue which was probably impeding my progress. so i thought the first step is to deliberately do the dishes with a happy attitude. and i have enjoyed doing the dishes. and i have realized that i really do like getting the dishes clean. the dishes no longer make my shoulders go tense. i can honestly say i love doing the dishes. now wait a minute, i'm attracting dishes! somehow i've got this all wrong!

okay, so i sit down tonight and think 'well, alright, i'm in a place where the dishes is not a bothersome thought. but i prefer not to have any at all. what shall i do?! i know. i will really appreciate my empty sink once the dishes are done." so i stared at my lovely sink which was oh-so-empty. nevermind riches, health, i was determined to attract an empty sink! oh! and clean dishes - quick holly, turn to the clean dishes! appreciate them! appreciate!!! okay that's too much.

oh crap. i've been appreciating the dishes in the drainer. i need to go appreciate the dishes that are clean AND put away! so wow did i have a love-session with those dishes.

well, at least i'm happy. . .

children : the ultimate progress test

today nearly ended without something for me to write about. it would have been a perfectly fine day, just a good-feeling quiet day. i thought 'okay, maybe i'll just skip this one night's journal entry.'

then my daughter's bedtime came. and went. but she never went
(to bed).

i appreciate (bold because i mean it to the extent of the LOA meaning) that my son goes to bed so easily. but that easiness is, for now, down to his bed being an inescapable cot. but i do really appreciate that he does seem to usually understand quite quickly that we're not going to come every time he cries, so he just gets on with putting himself to sleep. lovely boy.

anyway, i had just come out of a lovely bath where i just sat there enjoying being instead of doing. i was extremely chilled, much more so than with just a normal relaxing bath. it's a bath-plus!

so i head upstairs, and peek in on her to see what her progress is. she is standing in the middle of the room. she turns to look at me with fright.

every time i see that look i think 'oh kid, you don't know what angry is - i am MILD!' of course i never say that to her.

but i also know from that look that all is not well in her vicinity.

i am too chilled to get angry, and really am discovering these last couple of weeks that i prefer not being angry. angry has yet to accomplish anything anyway. so i say to her "okay, what's up?"

"i was drinking water and accidentally spit some out and now there's water everywhere."

...i was not born yesterday, that sounds fishy. but i look around her bed, where she pointed, and assessed the damage. mildly wet pillow. big deal, so i get a new pillow. then the real mess catches my eye. there is a series of receptacles, for water and otherwise, sitting on one of the shelves above her bed. i recognize one as a spray bottle i specifically asked her to keep in the bathroom. now it is filled to the brim with a funny shade of water, and bubbles. next to it is a cinderella carriage toy. it is bowl shaped, and now filled with bubbly water. then there is the original source of the water, a water bottle, empty but for a few bubbles in the bottom. i don't want to laugh, because i need her to know i don't want her to do this again. but i want to laugh because i just keep wondering what the series of events was that brought us to this moment. what goes on in that head?!

"m*, i'm not angry. i promise not to get angry. but i would like you to tell me what actually happened." this is merely an exercise for me to firstly practice actually not getting upset at what she's going to tell me, but also so that she starts to really realize she can come to me when she has a problem. that might come in handy later, so i'm told.

"i can't tell you."

i think fast. "can you write it down while i go get some towels?"

suddenly, a sparkle in the eyes of a girl who loves to write. "yes, i could do that!"

i return with towels, and get to work, while she reads me the story.

"i was trying to empty the water bottle, to throw it away. it spilled all over." i sigh, inwardly; that is extremely brief and probably not even half of what happened. i suddenly realize this could take all night, and i don't want that, my bed is so close to me being in it. so i just tell her that i would not like to have a repeat of this incident, and as soon as i clean up the water, she should be at least half asleep. at this stage of the game i'm not quite ready to 'magnetize' good bedtime habits for my daughter, so i tell her that there will be 8 pm bedtimes all week if she doesn't sleep now. she normally goes at 8:30. no, really 8:45, no really 9.... ish. okay, by the time i'm done telling her to go to sleep it's 10.30 there, i've said it.

and off i go. i'm really really feeling good about that. i still feel good because i haven't given over to anger, and hopefully i've brought my daughter one step closer to feeling good about communication when things like this happen. i'm not going to illustrate just how different this situation is compared to even a few weeks ago, because i don't want to give it energy. but suffice it to say that it is a drastic change. the lack of shouting alone is noteworthy. it's not perfect, but it's going in that direction. that in and of itself, is wonderful.

oh, actually something mildly fantastic *did* happen today. i was at borders / starbucks, my favorite place. i told myself that i could go there without buying anything. i *can* afford anything in borders (affirmation warning), i just *choose not to buy anything until tomorrow when my abundant paycheck goes in the bank. but i saw 'the astonishing power of emotions'. ooooh i really wanted that. and it was £2 off! that's just begging me to get it. i have the cash in my pocket. there is nothing at all to stop me from buying it. i tell myself my husband won't be upset that i've spent the money, and claim it as mine. i had really wanted this book to put itself in my hands, and it has just done that. niiiiice.

i'm off to read it now. bye!

*name shortened to one letter to protect the 'innocent'.

dinner, and the importance of clarity

two interesting things were brought to my attention today. the first is that i have been thinking for quite some time that the reason i haven't catapulted into complete abundance yet is that i have not made the best of my relationship. i'm making changes. instead of seeing him as the grumpy guy who shouts and swears of a day, i am starting to keep him in my mind's eye as the fun guy he used to be. you know, before we had children waking us up at the crack of oh-my-god-it's-early? i'm "pretending" he's happy to see me when i get home and "pretending" he's not going to be annoyed by the stuff we (the kids and i) do. well, i have been noticing that he is much less grumpy than he used to be. wow. was i attracting that behaviour from him? i'm going to stop attracting that.

today i was walking up with my friend Mei who asked "did he cook you that dinner in the end?" i asked her what she was referring to, a little confused. "he said he was going to cook you dinner the other night." my husband? the guy who thinks cooking is opening a tin of beans? he had brought some veggies home and pointed to them when i walked in the room, sure, but -oh wait- i got a phone call on wednesday. "what time will you be home, i've put some dinner on." i now remember because my coworkers had to get the heart-resuscitator out of the cabinet. the shock to the system must be what made me forget it so quickly. i had gotten home that night and he had put some veggies in the grill, and a stuffed chicken in the oven. that had been pretty cool, and would have been much cooler if the chicken hadn't been stuffed. i'm on weight watchers, and stick to it very strictly, until sometime in the near future when i absolutely believe i can eat whatever i want and maintain my perfect weight. (i do believe i can maintain my weight once i get there!) i'm having a really fun time losing the weight and am enjoying the experience, so i'm sticking with it. but this was pretty sweet! i made sure i thanked him for going to the work and i did happily eat the veggies.

the flow of money has started to spread. i took a bunch of stuff that i no longer need in my life and set them up on ebay items with the intent that they would get sold. two of my ebay items which were least likely to sell were the first to go. woo hoo! thanks universe! you totally rock!

but another "be more clear" moment occurred yesterday when i received some 'green paper'. i am wanting more money to flow in, you know, more of the green stuff! and the importance of being clear was hammered home when i arrived at work to find a huge pile of green vouchers-for-computers-for-schools was sitting on my desk. that's not what i had in mind, but thanks!!! what a sense of humour the universe has. but it shouldn't quit its day job.

tomorrow, universe, i would very much like to have some papers that can be negotiated for goods and services. yes that would be nice.

more unexpected money

i can feel it. if nothing else changes (ha), i can feel that my life is just so much better being happy all the time. fortunately, some other things *are* changing. bonus!

work is getting weird. i decided the other day that work was easy. all the stuff i had to come across would be easy. and it now is. i am developing solutions much more quickly than before. and today i finished something early, went to the next item on the list, and someone else had done it for me! to be fair, i had solved a problem for them out of the blue, but i didn't expect something else to be ticked off my list. score!

the other day just for fun, i thought 'wouldn't it be nice to have a promotion? i'd really like a promotion.' the truth is i wouldn't really like to be promoted to a management position. i am going to find "my thing" and go be ridiculously wealthy, and free to be with the kiddies all day. for now, though, i'm happy enough telling a computer what to do and when to do it. very empowering. but i digress. the cool thing is that i was called up later that day, and asked if i would like to be made deputy role-call person for my group (it's a fire drill thing). would i?! well that's *kind* of a promotion. . . it was then that i decided the universe has a sense of humour.

on to other subjects. how about a follow up to yesterday's unexpected cheque? on the way home *today* i was sitting there in my i'm-really-driving-a-roadster posture, even though i really love my yaris. and i was thinking it would be truly fantastic to get *another* cheque in the post today. and i expected it, and i was thankful for it.

so i got home, checked the mail. there was no cheque. there was a bill. but i thought 'let's play a game. this could be anything. it could be notification that we don't have to pay anything this month.'
wait for it. . .
the statement was informing me of a credit balance, carried over to next month's bill. OH YEAH!!!!!!! that's the kind of mailing i like! i'm going to keep that baby in my visual space for oh so long! this is DEFINITELY a universe thing *because* i definitely didn't pay the bill and my husband is really confused as to how we're in credit. and when he turned to me he said "why are you smiling at me so strangely?" i wanted to say "BECAUSE I KNOW WHY IT HAPPENED!"

okay, time to prepare for an awesome tomorrow. it just keeps getting better and better.

I DID IT!!! #1

well i have been listening to the cds for a couple weeks now. and i keep hearing the phrase "received an unexpected cheque" when i listen and there is a lot of buzz about it on the message boards. i really wanted a cheque! i've been really good, thinking good thoughts, being happy and joyful. now let's talk money.

payday is in 4 days. i have been thinking abundance, focusing on wealth as much as i can, and yet in the back of my mind the statements my husband makes keep popping up. "we only have xxx in the account!" "we need to spend less money!" yadda yadda yadda. today, again, i get an email from him "we only have xxx left, let's don't spend any money until payday." well, xxx is more than enough to get us through 4 days, but i was still struck by the initial confrontation of it. darn you, brain! yes, i know this is constricting my flow.

so i collected myself. and i focused on being happy. i took the tip from Rhonda and wrote "i am receiving £6000 pounds" so that i would stop *feeling* less than joyful about the 6 monthly water bill my husband scheduled for next month instead of paying monthly. (seriously, what was he thinking? i'm the one with an accounting degree, why did i let him take charge of the finances! ugh!). i had to write it several times, and i had to sit and focus on feeling good for quite some time. then i got in the car and drove home, again with The Secret playing as i drove. i thought "i would really love to have an unexpected cheque today for £200." that was believable. i imagined what it would be like to receive an unexpected cheque, and then was thankful for it. i expected it. it was going to be there, and i was really happy about it.

when i got home, everyone was out. i looked on the computer desk. nothing addressed to me. i looked on the stereo cupboard, nothing for me. i went in the kitchen and there was a letter addressed to me on the counter. i thought i recognized the handwriting, but hey, it could be anything! this could be it! i opened the envelope. enclosed was a cheque for £93!!! "holy crap," i said, more than once - possibly 3 times. i looked around. i just asked for, and got, an unexpected cheque in the post! i danced a little dance! then i realized the neighbours *could* have seen me and might think me crazy. then i realized i don't care! woo hooooooooo!

i want another one!!!!!

seriously, that was awesome. the words of Lisa Nichols, on The Secret cd are ringing in my ears, "do yourself a favour, expect a cheque!"

a whole lot of playdoh, and a whole lot more!!!

yes, today we discuss how a trip to get a brownies uniform eventually led to a whole pile of playdoh. i'll give £5 to the person who's heard that sentence twice before.

it was a saturday, in the lovely month of september. i remember it well - particularly as it was only 4 days ago. i had begun my day the night before by intending to have a *really* nice day. then i said a whole pile of thank-yous as i got out of bed, which was amazing in and of itself as my alarm clock was the call of my two-year-old son. he hasn't yet learned that saturdays are days to be adored and celebrated with an extra hour of sleep. so i was appreciating him early again, as it was my turn to do.

now that school is back in session, we are fortunate enough to have a variety of things to do on saturdays. we start with french class, we move on to swim class, and then we slot in the laundry and housekeeping around those and any other errands that pop up. one such errand on this particular day was that of the purchase of a uniform for my daughter's brownie pursuits. the store - yes the one store - that has them is near my favorite haunt, the llantrisant borders with a starbucks in it. god bless borders, god bless starbucks. was there ever a more perfect combination? if there was, i don't want to know about it. seriously, i don't. anyway, i love the drive out to llantrisant, too, because it's on the most perfect, windy, tree-lined road a person with a cute little red yaris could ever want. so any intention i have on that road always comes to me. i usually go there with my daughter, and she and i always ask the universe for a great parking space and a comfy seat at starbucks. only once have we not got what we asked for.

so to 'kick it up a notch' universe-wise, i said 'let's intend to get a spot *right* outside this shop, and when we go in, *you* will find the perfect shirt, which will be less than £10'. well *she* says 'how about less than £7?'. silly doubting-thomas me. i let a nanosecond of doubt occur. but then i remembered the power is in the now, so i could easily intend less than £7. 'okay, less than £7 it is!' so we together visualized parking in the spot outside the shop, felt what it would feel like to find the shirt at less than £7, and pretended it had already happened, and said thank you for it all. then we asked for the best spot outside borders, and visualized driving into it. then we visualized sitting in the comfy seats at starbucks, and pretended it had all already happened, and thanked the universe for that too. and then, just to really kick it up, i asked for a nice surprise when we get to talbot green, just for good measure. nothing like being stinking rotten greedy for stuff from the universe. so then we just had a completely happy drive the rest of the way to talbot green.

we arrive in talbot green, and i go for the spot i'd visualized. one thing to note, when you're wanting a spot right outside some shop, make sure to remember that the space isn't a driveway. oops. so we took the next best spot, which *was* right outside the shop, but across the street. hey, did i mention there are only about 5 spots in that area? yeah. cool.

so next we go in the shop. eden's has a variety of cute little things, and in the back is a wide selection of school uniforms, and the brownie line. my daughter walked straight to them and began her search. there were two shirts. you should be sitting before you read this next bit. also, know that i had absolutely no idea how much these shirts were going to cost, i was shooting in the dark with my intention. the short sleeved shirt? £6.99!!!! the long sleeved shirt? £9.99!!! we both had our intentions met! i *think* i heard the universe giggle. no, i didn't, but i had gotten that head-swirling feeling again, and we purchased the shirts and left.

oh, and nice the surprise i asked for? the shop is next to a cute little stationers/crafty shop (my favorite type of shop after bookshops and starbucks). if we'd gone in *before* going to eden's, we could have had a nice little browse around. but they closed for lunch. it's still nice because it's there, a place i am once a week.

so then we drove the couple blocks back to borders to our parking spot. we didn't get the one that i visualized. but the one that *was* there was a whole lot better than the one i visualized, and a guy was pulling out just as we arrived. that's not bad for a car park that is fairly hard to park in at this time of day (about 1:30).

then we went straight up to starbucks, upstairs. my daughter said 'i'll go get the chairs.' i said 'if you want,' but i am getting into the habit of not looking for things from the universe until it's time for them. i know that the chair will be made available as we go to sit down. i've been experiencing *that* on a 99% level since 2005. so i get the drinks and go towards my daughter, who is standing, looking unhappy. she said 'i lost our chairs,' and glanced at the couple who had just sat down to her left. i said 'why don't you look behind you?' then she beamed as she realized that another couple had just left as i approached! that iced chai (i LOVE those) was the best one i'd had in a long time. you just can't go wrong with a cold sweet drink like that, particularly when you ask them to add sugar-free hazelnut to it. holy cow if there's anything nicer, i don't know if my system could take it. i mean, okay, i'll give it a go, but it might be OTT.

before getting back in the car, i said 'let's check out this shop, i want to see if they sell crocks.' i am coveting them now that my friend at work has extolled their virtues. so we went in, and yes they have them, but i was wanting to get on and home and didn't want to spend time picking some out *that* day. my daughter was disappointed, she had just decided she wanted some. i said 'no, we'll get them a different day.' then she started something i wasn't prepared for. 'now i don't believe. i never get what *i* want.' i said 'whoa whoa whoa,' and listed out all the things that had happened that afternoon. i then told her that i *would* buy her the little turtle (a crock insert), but that we would hang it on the dashboard until we got some crocks. and every time we look at the turtle, we had to have happy thoughts and remember what we *have* gotten. that made her happy. we each got a turtle, and they bounce along happily suspended on my dashboard.

now a person would be forgiven for thinking that would have done it for the day. i mean, that's quite a lot of receiving in a short space of time. but oh no, there's more.

i had a few items to pick up at the tesco (supermarket) around the corner. i didn't want to forget the items, so i gave two of the four items to my daughter to remember. she had to remember the forks (toddler forks i wanted for my son) and......the playdoh. now for the record, all the times i've been in tesco, they've had their own brand of plasticine, or a non-playdoh brand pack at the very least. i prefer playdoh, i just like it best. but this was my day, and i knew there would be some playdoh there for us. and if you're wondering why i care so much, it's that i do a lot of things *with* my daughter, so i get the stuff that *i* like. :) on to the shopping. my daughter had a doubting moment, and told me that tesco, that great retailer of nearly everything in the known universe, wouldn't have forks. it's okay, she's 8. i said 'why don't you just ask and visualize them?' then the smile came, and she said 'okay, i'm visualizing a jazzy fork, one that is cute.' 'okay then,' i said.

so we got the other items, and then went back and looked for playdoh. couldn't find the playdoh. where was the playdoh? 'have you been visualizing the playdoh?' i asked my daughter. she said yeah. then we saw the aisle. there was playdoh this and playdoh that. there was the playdoh game-type things, and a variety of different packs of it, alongside the usual store-brand stuff. i then realized one has to be careful when asking for stuff or one has to make a decision! and then i looked up. the whole of the top shelf was lined with playdoh! just to be silly i said '! that's enough playdoh visualizing already!' she giggled.

but that's not all, bob barker! we found some toddler forks, but they just weren't exactly what i wanted. i didn't want to pay for a whole set of tableware when i just wanted the forks. i could afford it, i just didn't *want* it. so i said 'no, dear, let's get them another time,' even though she had been excited at the thought that there were forks at tesco. imagine that. we got up to the checkout and i remembered the last item, skewers. so i went back to the kitchen area. wanting to get out of tesco, i thought it best to cut to the chase and ask one of the tesco dudes where they were, full well realizing there was a chance they hadn't any idea either. i *should* have 'realized' they would know, but oh well. baby steps. so having been told a second time 'i'm not sure, i think we don't have them now that it's no longer barbecue season.' dang, barbecue season is over and i didn't even celebrate or send anyone a card. oh well. so i thought a moment, and said 'universe, how about those skewers. i'd really like some skewers, and i'd really like some toddler forks.' i really am not making any of this up - the next aisle had skewers on them, and they were almost right across from another set of forks! but.... it was still not what i wanted. so i said 'how about some forks for less than £2?' i looked, but didn't see, so i headed back towards the checkouts. and there
on the endcaps
was a pack of toddler table-ware for £2!
well i HAD to buy that!
people were really looking at me strangely as i -floated- my way to the checkouts.

what an amazing day, and no one reading this will have any idea of just how awesome any of this felt at the time. that's a pity. but let's not think about that! i just hope someone reads this and is either
a) amused;
b) entertained; or
c) inspired

before going to bed that night, my daughter was, once again, not happy with what she was receiving. m2 throws this at me and daddy shouts that at me and you're wanting me to go to bed were just a few of the themes upsetting her. then i said 'whoa, whoa whoa, code turtle,' referring to the turtles we'd gotten earlier that day. the eruption of laughter that occurred was absolutely priceless. that child laughed for 10 minutes straight, complete with floor-rolling and belly-holding. and i think that's a good ending for anyone's day.

on the abundance of running

i know i promised playdoh, but i went running tonight and was reminded about the amazing thing that happened last week with respect to running.

a little background (always with the background) : up until now, i have not been described by many as thin. i would certainly not have been described as a runner. it surprises many people to learn that i have been known to dabble in the jogging arts. one guy spat out his coffee. but i think he gets surprised easily, particularly while drinking.

in my youth, i was a member of the middle school volleyball and basketball teams. oh, and track. i loathed running, but you simply could not volley a ball, put a ball in a basket, or put a shot without having to do some running. oh how it did bring tears to my eyes to have to run those lines in basketball practice. and i was not a quiet crier. i think everyone was a little relieved when i discovered golf my freshman year. yay! a sport where i could hit a ball without having to run! who knew?!

and now back to the present. a few years ago, i decided that i was going to be decidedly immobile if i didn't start moving my substantial sitting point regularly. i would walk to the top of a steep hill nearby, then run down the hill. surely running downhill was still running?

then i found running to be fun in hawaii, and somehow got talked into running the marathon. that was my fault. i cleverly promised everyone that asked me that i would run the marathon with them IFF i wasn't pregnant. ha HA! i was full well expecting to BE pregnant that year.
then december came. no pregnancy. so i signed up. 15 miles in, i get really sick, and a pregnancy test later confirmed that i was, in fact, pregnant. so i'm not annoyed to have stopped at that point.

but i had very clearly got the running bug by that point. i had grown to love the feeling produced in your lungs by all that exercise-related breathing. i had never felt so good in all my life! and i had been to a harry belafonte concert! no, wait. .. i had never felt so good in my life and i had drunk malibu rum? i felt good.

so a few years and another child later, i decide it's time to hit the pavement again. 10 minutes is a long run when you haven't run in a few years. 5 minutes is a long time to run when you haven't done it in a few years. i found myself again in the situation of someone wanting to run some marathon, and i always say 'sure,' so i said 'sure!' now, just to recap, a marathon is 26 POINT 2 miles. thankfully, we decided on the half marathon. again, that's 13 POINT 1 miles. not just 13 miles. you're not done at the 13th mile. you're done a tenth of a mile later. if you collapse at 13 miles, you haven't finished! anyway. enough focusing on the lack. that summer, my new-found friend and i built up from 10 minute runs to 2 hour runs. 2 hours! there's activities i *like* that i don't even want to do for 2 hours! but i wanted to want to do it. and we did it.

and the day came. whereas in the honolulu marathon, i'd started walking at the 10th mile, this time i ran the whole 13 POINT 1 miles. to be fair, my friend wouldn't let me stop, knowing how annoyed i'd be that i didn't run the whole thing. (thanks jenni, you totally rock!). so me, the little girl who cried in basketball practice because she had to do a bit of running (i mean really, couldn't i just stand there and make the baskets? i could do that!)

but that's not the amazing thing about my running experience.

if someone ever called me petite, it would make that guy spit coffee again. large women don't run fast. up to now, i hadn't run very fast at all. in fact, there were points in the honolulu marathon where i would stop to walk and would actually be going faster than when i went back to jogging! in the cardiff marathon, a double lap of the half-marathon, when the lead marathoner passed me and my running partner, we decided to try to keep up with him for as long as we could. for about 4 seconds, we sprinted. that dude was going like a freight train, and he made it look like he was sleeping! i think he made that relativity noise as he passed us. my point is, speed is a spectrum, and it's clear which end i'm at.

my overall point is ever-so-close to being made.

my daughter has swimming lessons at a local pool. the sport complex is on my half-marathon training grounds, butte park. a couple times, i've done some running while my daughter gets on with her swimming lesson. i have experienced a whole new level of happiness by doing my old loop in much shorter time, but that was mainly down to me dropping 31 pounds. oh it's so nice to do the route that used to take 12 minutes in 10.

but the most amazing thing of all of this happened last week. i went for the run, and 5 minutes into the run, i realized that i really only had another 12 minutes before i had to be back at the complex to help my daughter get dressed (it's a case of saying 'will you put your clothes on!' on continuous loop). so i decided to turn around at the 7 minute mark, and run back, leaving me 3 minutes to make my way to the locker room. at the turn-around point, i started to think about some of these LOA concepts. in particular, on The Secret cds there is a point where Rhonda talks about needing to lose weight simply because we think we need to lose weight, so that's what we get - the experience of needing to lose weight. it struck me that i run (faster but still) slow because i *think* i run slow. so why not *think* i run fast? i found myself just running faster without effort. i made it back to the complex an entire minute earlier than i'd hoped! for those of you that are saying 'big deal, one minute,' for me it's HUGE! and now, i run fast! little me, who shirked most of the running in her youth and grew to the 14 stone mark at one point, am 11 stone and can run fast! wooooo hoooooo!

i have a 10k i'm training for. i'm now setting the intention that i will complete the 10k in 1:10. this will be a year to the day after i ran a half-marathon in 3:01. huge.

okay, the playdoh will have to wait until tomorrow.

initial trials

that first week after listening to all four cds in the car was just amazing. by friday my feet weren't really touching the ground, i was so high. and lovely things were happening. the sun was a little sunnier, the grass was a little greener. i had never felt so good in my entire life. and i'd been to a barry manilow concert! (street cred alert: i also listen to a myriad of other artists, but i do love barry!) let me rephrase : i had never felt so good in my entire life, and i'd been given morphine! (my daughter was 10 weeks early, there were issues.)

i'd been experiencing the loveliness before The Secret. i had been wanting company x to need a software engineer for quite some time, and in the month before receiving the secret cds, i had gotten a call about such a position. i had the right level of experience, and only my nationality kept me out of the running. then my friend, a former coworker told me that i dodged a bullet, as i wouldn't want to work there because it was a lot more geared to consultancy than what i was looking for. i decided not to feel bad about it, as i was getting what i wanted (a call about company x), but because the opportunity wasn't what i wanted, it didn't go further. niiiice.

i was really ready for something a little more concrete to start happening regularly. on monday evening, my daughter had a golf class. while she was in her lesson, i went to weigh-in at weight watchers. i had been hoping all day for a pound off. on the drive to her lesson, she listened to one of the cds with me. i asked her 'what do you want?' she replied 'i want to pass my golf test.' 'okay then, what would it feel like to do that,' i asked her. she got a great big smile on her face. i said 'pretend it has happened, and thank the universe.' she did that. then i said 'i'm hoping i've lost a pound.' my lovely daughter said 'why not go for 3?' thanks sweetheart. leave it to the children. i didn't know about that. but in that moment i thought, let's put it to the test. 'okay,' i said, 'i want to lose 3 pounds!' i took a big breath, felt what it would feel like to lose 3 pounds, and thanked the universe as if it had already happened. i then told my daughter that the rest of the drive, we really have to focus on feeling good. 'do you feel good?' i asked her. she said she felt okay. i asked her what thoughts make her feel good, and explained that when i have trouble feeling good, i think about her and her brother. so she decided to think about her little brother, too.
i dropped her off at her lesson, and headed off for the weigh-in. i concentrated on feeling good the whole way there. 20 minutes after re-launching the intention, i stood on the scales and was amazed at the 2.5 pounds i'd lost.
'oh
my
god,'
i thought. i know the leader said some congratulatory things to me, but my head was swirling, as all day i'd really hoped like heck for the pound, and then at the last minute i'd clocked up 2.5! all of my rational-minded friends would say 'oh holly! coincidence, dummy!' but how many coincidences do you have to experience before you say 'hmmm.... perhaps not so much?'
AND, my daughter passed her golf test so well that if she'd got another point she'd have gotten a distinction!

the next day, i decided to kick it up a notch with the parking space thing. i visualized the parking space i wanted at work, next to my friend's car. then i just sat there and felt good the rest of the way to work, which was tricky because there were a lot of zombie drivers out that morning. i thought about attracting the right to revoke some people's license, but that didn't sound very LOA. i didn't look at the parking availability until i was right at the turning spot in the spot i wanted. it was there, right next to my friend's car! and it was the only spot left!

well, then i set to getting my old hard drive working. my daughter and i had started writing a story a couple years ago, and after five chapters, the hard drive failed. yes, thank you, i should have backed it up. i had tried different things to get the drive back, but none of them worked. i even took it to my sys admin friends. no joy. well, this week was shaping up to be the week of it. i plugged the drive in. i wrote the error message down again, and tried the first suggestion that google could offer. bingo! i had a hard drive! and there was our story WHICH i quickly backed up to another drive!

this was motivating! if nothing else, i sure as heck felt really good. it felt better than just sitting there letting stuff happen without intending anything.

tomorrow: i get yet another parking spot and a whole pile of playdoh. stay tuned!

it begins

a bit of background, to begin with. i was born into a family with a very definite religious lineage. my grandpap's grandpap's grandpap (one of 'em, anyway) was there with that guy who found some buried plates and translated them to a companion to the bible, which we all know was just too short anyway. then they all moved west and had multiple wives and you know what i mean. that was my heritage. although the multiple wives thing had stopped long before i came along. (please know that if you're reading this and want to argue about whether it had stopped or not, i just really don't care that much, and there are others that do - argue with *them*).

then i went to college and decided i preferred sleep to church, and then got married to someone who wasn't even in to the idea of church at all, which was mostly fine with me.

and over the years, although the seats had become more comfy, i nonetheless drifted further and further away from the idea that i should really drag my substantial butt to church. i didn't believe anymore that diet coke was damning my soul, or at least if it was, i was going to have some good company.

then i lived in hawaii and met someone who steered me in the direction of reiki by getting rid of my HUGE toothache with it. you don't argue with toothaches. well, i don't. and that was cool. i reiki'd myself some parking spaces. this one chick at ala moana mall actually walked to the next aisle, waved to me from my waiting position where she could not have seen me, and indicated that she was about to leave. now THAT'S parking spot delivery!!! thank you reiki!

and i reiki'd myself away some back pain and some headaches and some back pain for other people. i even reiki'd myself a phone call about a job!

but there's always been that 'oh, i don't know it, could be the coincidence factor' theme floating around my head.

i'd come across Abraham-Hicks during a reiki II workshop. i felt like i ought to look into it, and got the intro cd. i loved it, but i still wasn't quite getting it. i was trying to create myself a pile of happiness and money while still thinking how fat i was, how rich i wasn't and how much my partner was annoyed at me. what a great combination. needless to say that wasn't working.

then my friend sent me some tapes. so i started listening to the tapes on an infinite loop in the car. and it has been wonderful. it's been almost a year now, and i go through cycles of listening to them, thinking everything's wonderful and coming to me, and then i listen to some other music for awhile and eventually forget the juice. i don't entirely forget it; i am making baby-steps with this new philosophy, but old habits die very hard.

i now ask the universe for parking spaces. and i ask for comfy seats at starbucks and to merge into traffic properly and could my son please not wake up so early. that last one really never has worked because i'm usually half asleep, not in the gratitude mode. but still, it's only a low-level flow of abundance i've got going on - or so i thought.

what have i been really wanting since i left hawaii? a house. a car.

the perfect house came to me. the perfect car came to me. both in very easy ways. almost ridiculously easy.
we were having a hard time with the house we were bidding on. then i had an instinct to go see a house around the corner. it was in our price range, roomy rooms (yes, that amuses me too), ready to go, and just around the corner! our bid was accepted that afternoon!
i wanted a toyota, and i wanted to pay only £100/month for it. my yaris (now i can say 'hey everyone, look at my yaris!' (say it quickly to get it)) jumped out at me from a citroen dealership. it was £28/week. i said 'oh i really am only looking to pay £100/month'. dealer dude says 'i can do that.' YAY!

i had been wanting to see The Secret, but it wasn't until i had a series of phone calls with let's-just-say-a-person calling up to ask what to do about things that weren't going her way. i just said 'well, ma, (oops, sorry ma!) this is the way *i'd* do it', and then i'd talk through the situation with my new Abraham thought patterns. she then said 'gosh you sound a lot like The Secret'. i said i'd never seen it but i wanted to.

so the cds arrived in the mail. and ever since then, they have been playing on an infinite loop in the car.
and WOW - how has my life changed? well that is what this blog is going to track.